In 9/11 remembrance, a turning to good deeds

NEW YORK - On Sept. 11, Jacob Sundberg of San Antonio has pledged to make eye contact and smile at everyone he meets. Kaitlin Ulrich will bring goody baskets to the police and fire departments in and around Philadelphia. And 100 volunteers from New York – 9/11 firefighters and family members among them – are going to Groesbeck, Texas, to rebuild a house destroyed by a tornado last December.
This is a minute sampling of the hundreds of thousands of people who have pledged to memorialize those killed on 9/11 by doing something good for others.
The heroic acts of all those killed trying to save others that September morning has spawned a growing grass-roots movement. The goal is to ensure that future generations remember not just the horror of the attacks, but also the extraordinary outpouring of humanity during the days, weeks, and months that followed.
"It was the worst possible day imaginable, and in some ways, a remarkable day, too, in the way in which people responded", says David Paine, cofounder of myGoodDeed.org. "We need to rekindle the way we came together in the spirit of 9/11: It would be almost as much a tragedy to lose that lesson".
Sept. 11 has inspired dozens of philanthropic efforts – from groups dedicated to building memorials to foundations designed to improve education in the Middle East. But myGoodDeed has a more universal goal: to turn 9/11 into a day dedicated to doing good – from small, simple things like Lisa Scheive's pledge to help stranded turtles cross the road in Pompano Beach, Fla., to lifesaving efforts, such as John Feal's decision in New York to donate one of his kidneys to help a seriously ill 9/11 worker.
The idea has been endorsed by members of Congress, and at myGoodDeed's urging, President Bush for the first time this year included a call for volunteering in his annual 9/11 proclamation.
After major disasters, Americans have historically tapped a deep reserve of compassion and reached out to others. But in the months and years that follow, those compassionate and civic urges tend to recede. Studies at Harvard's Saguaro Seminar on Civic Engagement in America found that in as few as five months after 9/11, most Americans had gone back to their daily lives and were not more engaged as they said they'd hoped to be. Part of the goal of turning 9/11 into a national day of service is to remind Americans of the inherent joy of giving and to hopefully spur volunteering and charitable acts throughout the year.
"I don't know of any research that's been done on one day of service, but studies have shown that people who do volunteering in high school are more likely to volunteer throughout their lives", says Thomas Sander, executive director of the Saguaro Seminar.
The idea of turning 9/11 into a day of service, charity, and good deeds came from the family and friends of one man: Glenn Winuk, a volunteer fireman and lawyer who worked a block and a half from the World Trade Center. After he helped evacuate his Broadway law offices, he grabbed a medic's bag and ran toward the smoke pouring from the South Tower. That's where his remains were found after the towers fell. Mr. Paine and Glenn's brother Jay had been friends for years. They decided that turning 9/11 into a day of service was best way to memorialize Glenn.
"It completely reflects the way my brother lived his life, and it also specifically reflects how he died", says Mr. Winuk, myGoodDeed.org cofounder. "He laid his life on the line for other people that day".
In 2002, Paine and Winuk sent e-mails to friends and family and suggested they do a good deed, such as donate a day's pay on 9/11. Then the idea evolved, and they founded myGoodDeed.org. In 2004, 100,000 visited their website and pledged to do a good deed on 9/11. This year, those pledging number more than 250,000.
"A lot of people don't know what to do on 9/11," says Paine. "This hits people in their heart and their soul. It connects with something that's fundamental".

Alexandra Marks The Christian Science Monitor writer
The Christian Science Monitor Marti 11 Septembrie 2007 http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20070910/ts_csm/adogood_1

Tension surrounds Sept. 11 anniversary

NEW YORK - Once again, the city will pause for four moments of silence to mark the attacks that killed more than 2,700 people. Family members will lay flowers where the twin towers fell, and the names of victims will be read.
But much will be different on the sixth anniversary of Sept. 11, after tense arguments about where to hold the ceremony, whether a presidential candidate should be allowed to speak and whether it's still fitting to put on such a large-scale commemoration.
Firefighters, first responders and construction workers who helped rescue New Yorkers — and many who later recovered victims' bodies — were chosen this year to read the names of the dead in a small public park instead of the World Trade Center site.
After bitterly objecting that they wanted to pay their respects closest to where their loved ones died, family members will be allowed to descend to the site below street level and lay flowers near where the towers stood.
"It's still like visiting a grave on the person's anniversary of their death", said Rosaleen Tallon, whose firefighter brother, Sean Tallon, died that day.
While the list of 2,750 victims killed in New York is read, Osama bin Laden planned to appear in a new video and read the will of one of the hijackers whose plane flew into the north tower.
Politics has played little role in past ceremonies, when siblings, spouses and children offered heartfelt messages to their lost loved ones.
But the city's firefighters could raise several issues. They are among thousands who say they suffer persistent respiratory problems after inhaling dust from the trade center's collapse. Two firefighters died just last month in a blaze at a skyscraper that had not been torn down since it was damaged on Sept. 11.
And firefighters and several victims' family members are furious that Rudy Giuliani, the city's former mayor, who has spoken every year at the ceremony, is doing so on Tuesday as a Republican presidential candidate.
Giuliani, who has made his performance in the months after the 2001 terrorist attacks the cornerstone of his campaign, said last week that his appearance was not intended to be political.
"I was there when it happened, and I've been there every year since then. If I didn't, it would be extremely unusual. As a personal matter, I wouldn't be able to live with myself," Giuliani said Friday at a campaign stop in Florida. "I will do that for as long as they have a ceremony out there".
A fire union spokesman said no organized demonstration by firefighters was planned.
Another change in this year's ceremony will be the list of victims. That is because the official death toll was increased by one this year after the city ruled a woman's death of lung disease was caused by exposure to toxic trade center dust. The name of that woman, Felicia Dunn-Jones, will be read at the ceremony for the first time.
The anniversary was moved this year because of more intensive construction under way at ground zero, where several cranes overlook a partially built Sept. 11 memorial, transit hub and skyscraper.
Several family members worried that Zuccotti Park, just southeast of ground zero, would be too small to accommodate the thousands of people. City officials said there was actually more space available than at the previous location.
But others have questioned whether the commemoration had become excessive; some New Jersey communities that lost many people in the attacks said their ceremonies were being scaled back.
The city has estimated that fewer people have come to the ceremony each year. One local television station, WABC-TV, initially decided not to air the four-hour-plus ceremony live, opting instead to broadcast regular morning programming, which includes "Live with Regis and Kelly". The station changed its mind once the public complained.
Mayor Michael Bloomberg said Monday that the ceremony may continue to change over time.
"I think one of the challenges that we as a society have is how do you keep the memory alive and the lesson of something like 9/11 alive going forward for decades", he said. "I've always thought we should try to change the ceremony each year... you're going to have to change to keep it relevant".
In Washington, President Bush will help mark the anniversary with a moment of silence Tuesday morning on the South Lawn of the White House. At the Pentagon, Defense Secretary Robert Gates will host a memorial observance for relatives of those who perished in the Sept. 11 attack there.
A ceremony is also scheduled in western Pennsylvania at the site of the crash of hijacked Flight 93. Gov. Ed Rendell will speak.

AMY WESTFELDT, Associated Press Writer
Associated Press Marti 11 Septembrie 2007 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070911/ap_on_re_us/sept11_anniversary

SPECIAL ISSUE !!! - 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.

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MTV Awards flourish despite Britney bomb

LAS VEGAS - As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong.
Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.
Designed to drum up excitement for her upcoming album, Spears' kickoff to the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night became another example of how far she has fallen. It would have been understandable if MTV's show had been crushed under the weight of the opening fiasco — yet somehow it rebounded, and even flourished.
The show banked heavily on its own reinvention. After poor reviews and a decline in ratings over the last few years, MTV moved the show to Vegas, shortened it from three hours to two, went to a hostless format and focused more on performances than awards.
Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, Kanye West, Fall Out Boy and the Foo Fighters hosted separate suite parties where most of the performances took place.
But the performance most people will be talking about was Spears'. And unlike her last VMAs appearance, when she locked lips with Madonna in 2003, this time it will be for all the wrong reasons…
"It definitely could have been a lot better", the hitmaking singer and producer Akon commented afterward. "She seemed nervous... you could tell by the expression on her face. Instead of just blocking everybody out and doing her thing, you could tell she was thinking about it".
After that, though, the changes to the show worked, leading to several exciting performances and some watercooler drama. An off-camera fight between Pamela Anderson exes Kid Rock and Tommy Lee led Jamie Foxx to quip: "Stop all this white-on-white violence".
Timberlake's suite was flooded with revelers, alcohol and eight lingerie-clad stripper types on raised platforms. Before Timberlake accepted the Quadruple Threat of the Year award at his suite, the DJ summoned the partygoers to watch the monitor and go crazy if Timberlake won. He did, they did, and Timberlake said: "I want to challenge MTV to play more videos !" Then he was whisked away by bodyguards and disappeared.
Timberlake was the night's big winner, with four trophies. After accepting the award for Male Artist of the Year, he jabbed at the video issue again: "We don't want to see the Simpsons on reality television". Apparently he's not a fan of either Jessica or Ashlee's MTV shows.
Rihanna won the coveted Video of the Year award, plus Monster Single of the Year for "Umbrella". The Best Group was Fallout Boy, and Gym Class Heroes won Best New Artist.
Beyonce and Shakira won Most Earthshattering Collaboration for "Beautiful Liar". Beyonce's shimmering gold dress barely contained her top; immediately after she picked up her trophy she asked an assistant backstage to help fix her dress, apparently to prevent a wardrobe malfunction.
Other performers appeared on the show's main stage, in front of an industry-only audience seated at tables, like at the Golden Globes. Chris Brown gave one of the evening's most extravagant performances — hopping from table to table in a dance spectacle that channeled Michael Jackson, right down to a brief "Billie Jean" imitation.
Alicia Keys had the evening's most rousing performance, debuting her new song "No One" and then an inspired, choir-backed cover of George Michael's "Freedom".
While performances like Keys' and Spears' were delivered on the main stage, others came in snippets: Akon crooned a bit of his "Smack That" before an award was announced, while the cameras zoomed in on Fall Out Boy and the Foo Fighters mid-performance in their suites, giving viewers the sense that they had happened upon an intimate concert.
Cee-Lo delivered a rocking version of Prince's naughty classic "Darling Nikki" in the smoky Foo Fighters suite (where a beer bong was in operation as Dave Grohl danced, sang Cure songs, played air drums and posed for snapshots); Soulja Boy was showing Kanye West his "Crank That" dance in West's suite.
Though the suites appeared to be chaotic parties, the MTV-cast revelers were carefully organized, strategically placed and encouraged to imbibe for the cameras.
Choreographed or not, Timberlake and Timbaland's suite looked the most exciting — T.I., buffeted by pole dancers, delivered a rousing version of "Big Things Poppin'" while 50 Cent stopped by to perform "Ayo Technology" with Timberlake and Timbaland.
Not to be outdone, T-Pain and West danced high atop Las Vegas in a balcony suite as they celebrated "The Good Life". And Lil Wayne, doing double duty in the Fall Out Boy suite after opening the pre-show with Nicole Scherzinger, was particularly animated.
TV viewers never got full views of those shows, though MTV promised more via its Web site and other "remixed" versions of the show. That might have been the purpose: to whet appetites for repeat viewings by promising glimpses of what they missed during the traditional broadcast.
Unlike in recent years, there was plenty reason to come back for more.

NEKESA MUMBI MOODY, AP Music Writer
AFP, AP & Reuters Marti 11 Septembrie 2007 http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070910/ap_en_mu/mtv_awards

ADDED (pictures from MTV show in Las Vegas)

Pict. #2 - Britney Spears performs at the MTV Video Music Awards held at the Palms Hotel and Casino on Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007, in Las Vegas.
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Pict. #3 - Beyonce and Rihanna are seen at the MTV Video Music Awards at the Palms Hotel and Casino on Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007, in Las Vegas.
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Pict #4 - Justin Timberlake accepts the award for Triple Threat of the Year at the party suites, during the MTV Video Music Awards at the Palms Hotel and Casino on Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007, in Las Vegas.
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Pict. #5 - Rihanna and Fall Out Boy perform at the party suites, during the MTV Video Music Awards at the Palms Hotel and Casino on Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007, in Las Vegas.
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Pict. #6 - Timbaland performs at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #7 - Chris Brown performs at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #8 - Tommy Lee is escorted out of the theater at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007. Lee and Kid Rock, both former husbands of model Pamela Anderson, got into a fight while Alicia Keys was performing.
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Pict. #9 - Britney Spears performs at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #10 - Artist Beyonce smiles during the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #11 - Artists Rihanna and Chris Brown perform at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #12 - Justin Timberlake (L) receives the VMA award for Male Artist of the Year from rap artist Timbaland at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #13 - Justin Timberlake accepts the VMA award for the category Quadruple Threat at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #14 - Rihanna (R) performs with the band 'Fall Out Boy' at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #15 - Beyonce accepts the VMA award for Most Earth-Shattering Collaboration for the song 'Beautiful Liar', which she recorded with Shakira (not pictured), at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas, September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #16 - Singer Rihanna performs 'Umbrella'at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007. Rihanna won the award for Monster Single of the Year for the song.
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Pict. #17 - Singer Nelly Furtado arrives at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #18 - Artist Ludacris arrives for the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #19 - Ne-yo arrives at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007.
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Pict. #20 - Musician Kid Rock (C) is escorted out after getting into a fight with Tommy Lee at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards in Las Vegas September 9, 2007. Lee and Kid Rock, both former husbands of model Pamela Anderson, got into a fight while Alicia Keys was performing. 'There were no fists, they were just holding each other, grabbing each other', Tom Higginson, singer of the pop band Plain White Ts, told Reuters. 'Security had to break them up'.
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President discriminated again

The CNCD (National Council against Discrimination) is going to open a case against the President of Romania Traian Basescu, who has recently commented: "Here am I meeting a good Armenian at last !"
When getting out of the Military Hospital, Bucharest, the President made this comment, dividing the Armenians in Romania in good and bad. He actually wanted to thank surgeon Mircea Ghemigian by uttering the words mentioned above and then he corrected himself by "I mean a competent Armenian".
The President had already got a warning from the CNCD, because in the very day of the referendum on his suspension he had called journalist Andreea Pana a "filthy gypsy".
This comment in May 19 was made in private, but the one committed last Sunday was public. Presidency spokesman claims "This observation is to be taken as one meant to highlight Mr. Ghemigian's professionalism".
As for deputy Varujan Pambuccian, a representative of Armenian-origin Romanians in the Parliament, he thinks "the President's words aren't even worth commenting on. What is going on is ridiculous". Deputy Aurel Vainer, a leader of the Federation of Jewish Community in Romania, comments in his turn: "Such gross categorization has never done any good". (...)

Marian Ghiteanu
Ziua Marti 11 Septembrie 2007 http://www.ziua.net/english

Bill against government divides PSD in sides

The PSD (Social-Democrat Party) bill against the government in power has opened new war between the Ion Iliescu, honorary president of the party, and Mircea Geoana, president of the PSD. The senator is angry because the latter commented that the controversial party members, those most fond of power, were afraid of the bill to come. Viorel Hrebenciuc on the one hand and Adrian Nastase together with Miron Mitrea on the other hand have joined the confrontation.
The issue at stake between the three was whether the bill against the government was a good idea or not, since the party lacked a clear strategy. Among growing dissatisfaction and reproaches, the PSD members were in endless meetings yesterday, but they proved fruitless anyway. The only certainty is that the bill got postponed for one more week, although it was supposed to reach the Parliament yesterday. The election of a new Patriarch was the latest reason the PSD leaders invoked.
Ion Iliescu was enraged: "I am an honorary president of the party, I haven't been informed about the bill, no one has asked for my opinion. I wasn't invited to attend the reunion in Bran. If you don't need me any more, I can leave". Then he was critical of Mircea Geoana because of what the latter had said in an interview one day before. In his 40-minute relentless speech Ion Iliescu commented that never before had there been a PSD president to make such statements and threat to expel those members against the bill idea. Party sources claim Mircea Geoana replied that by "controversial people" he hadn't meant PSD members.
But Ion Iliescu did even more than criticize the party president behind shut doors. He told journalists: "It is incautious of him to say such things. It is disloyal and it twists the meaning of dialogue.
And Mircea Geoana announced the bill was postponed in order not to coincide with the election of a new Patriarch. (...)


Roxana Andronic
Ziua Marti 11 Septembrie 2007 http://www.ziua.net/english

DNA head at war against Justice minister

The DNA (National Anti-Corruption Department) is claiming that the Romanian Justice minister Tudor Chiuariu has put pressure on prosecutors, whereas the latter Liberal minister has it that the DNA has manipulated the press by twisted statements.
The conflict between the Justice minister and the DNA intensified yesterday, with prosecutors accusing minister Chiuariu of putting pressure on DNA officials. The minister replied the DNA manipulated the press by providing misinterpreting statements excerpted from a document belonging to the CSM (Superior Council of Magistracy).
The dispute between the two institutions went on yesterday with deputy Cozmin Gusa's explanations on his own accusations against minister Chiuariu. DNA mentioned inquiry on the contents of a document released by the Ministry of Justice, adding the institution was working on the preliminary documents concerning the legality of some acquisition by the Romanian Post Office. The minister claimed it was mere speculation, arguing that in the communique from the prosecutors there was incorrect information. (...)

A.G.
Ziua Marti 11 Septembrie 2007 http://www.ziua.net/english

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Government should go all the way

57% of Romanians think the present government should be allowed to carry out mandate, according to the latest opinion poll by INSOMAR.
Most Romanians are against early elections and only 14% believe they would be a solution. As far as the making of a new government is concerned, 14% say it would be dominated by Democrats and only 7% opine the Social-Democrats would get to make it. 7% go for an independent one.
As for vote intentions, the conclusion is that 41% of Romanians would vote for the PD (Democrat Party). The PSD (Social-Democrat Party) would get 18%, the PNL (National Liberal Party) would be voted by 12% and 9% would go for the PNG (New Generation Party). The PRM ("Greater Romania" Party) and the PLD (Liberal Democrat Party) would get 5% each. The remaining parties would fail to get 5%: the Democrat Union of Magyars in Romania (UDMR) - (4%), the Conservative Party (PC) – (2%), the National Initiative Party (PIN) - (1%) and the National Christian-Democrat Party (PNTC-D) - (1%).
According to the research, the President of Romania, Traian Basescu, is still the most trusted politician (54%). The PLD leader, Theodor Stolojan, comes second (33%) and PNG president, Gigi Becali, is next (32%). (...)

R.P.
Ziua Luni 10 Septembrie 2007 http://www.ziua.net/english

Anti-Communist union born

The right center union was born last Saturday in Timisoara. On the birth certificate there are the signatures of Calin-Popescu Tariceanu, president of the National Liberal Party, Marian Milut, president of the National Christian-Democrat Party, Emil Constantinescu, leader of the Popular Action, Gheorghe Ciuhandu, honorary president of the National Christian-Democrat Party and Adrian Iorgulescu, a Romanian minister of culture.
Authors say one main purpose of the action is to promote the lustration law. In his speech PM Tariceanu described the making of the union as a coherent project to call for the emergence of a leftwing freed from Communism. Emil Constantinescu argued the project was a long-term one, absolutely necessary at present.
There was also argued that the neocommunist groups and the populist political forces were the new union's adversaries. According to the makers, the union is against "the so-called Social-Democrats, politically disguised, who have found themselves to be a rightwing overnight". (...)

A.P.
Ziua Luni 10 Septembrie 2007 http://www.ziua.net/english

Real planes for real money

-- The Romanian government is to buy 48 multi-roll aircrafts for 3,5 billion Euro. Romania is to satisfy the US and don't make the EU angry.
The deadline for the subscription of offers to get the business of the century is over. The Romanian Ministry of Defense has got offers to purchase aircrafts like Eurofighter, F 16, F 18, JAS 39 Gripen and Rafale. The types selected are to replace the MiG 21 modernized by the Israelis.
The government is to make a decision after talking to the Parliament and the Supreme Council for National Defense. There are advantages and disadvantages for every plane to be used for at least 30 years. The Eurofighter Typhoon has got its qualities, but it costs twice as much as a JAS 39. The Swedish Gripen is a last generation achievement, but it hasn't been tested on battlefield. The F 16 is a war veteran, but conceived in the 70s.
The US claims that, once proceeding to such acquisition, Romania will join the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter, the US military's future assailant.
Teodor Melescanu, Romania's defense minister, is to talk to senators' defense committee tomorrow. In the meantime, the maintenance and flight costs for the 48 aircrafts will be over 10 billion Euro. It is to be reminded that a 10 million Euro commission was rumored for the acquisition of the two British frigates.

Doru Dragomir & M.B.
Ziua Luni 10 Septembrie 2007 http://www.ziua.net/english

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Stress Reduction

A Prostitute Reply...

Sunday Fun

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* Prisoner *
The bride tells her husband,… "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first ?"
"OK, Sweetheart, putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'.
So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles,… "Honey, the prisoner seems to have escaped".
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him"…
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes.
But the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again !"…
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again"…
Limply turning his head, He yells at her, "Hey, it's not life imprisonment !"

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* Business *
A man goes into a shop and starts looking around. He sees a washer & dryer but there is no price listed on them.
He asks a salesman who says, "Five pounds for both of them".
"Yeah right, you've got to be joking !" the man says.
"No, that's the price", the salesman says, "Do you want to buy them or not ?"
"Yeah, I'll take them", the man says. He continues to look around and sees a car stereo system with a detachable face cassette player, a CD changer, amplifier, speakers.
"How much ?" he asks.
"Five pounds for the system, including installation" the salesman says.
"Is it stolen ?" the man asks incredulously.
"No", says the salesman, "It's brand new, do you want it or not ?"
"Certainly", the man says. He looks around some more.
As the salesman is ringing up the purchases, the man asks him, "Why are your prices so cheap ?"
The salesman says, "Well, the owner of the shop is at my house right now with my wife, and what he's doing to her,... I'm doing to his business !"….

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* The sponge *
One day a little boy walked in on his mother in the shower. The boy pointed to his mother's pussy and said "What’s that mommy ?".
The mother not wanting to explain the facts of life to the boy said "that’s my sponge" the boy satisfied with the answer went out.
A few days later the boy again walked in on his mother in the shower. The night before the mother had shaved completely.
The boy noticing the difference asked the mother "where is your sponge ?".
The mother said she lost it and the boy satisfied went outside again…
All of a sudden the boy ran back in. "Mommy, mommy I found your sponge ! I was looking in Mrs.Jones back window and I saw Mrs Jones washing daddy's face with it !"

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* Greatest breasts *
A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell, the wife answers.
"Hi is Tony home ?"
"No he went to the store".
"Well, you mind if I wait ?" "No come in".
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one".
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one.
He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together".
Nora thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know your weird friend Chris came over".
Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me ?"

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* A good nights sleep *
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You;ve got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where".
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy", admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost.
But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you".
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it".
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep ?" asked the manager.
"Never better". The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then ?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time", said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that ?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room", the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful', and he sat up all night watching me".

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* The Rabbit and the Bull *
A rabbit is crossing a railway track and he gets hit by a train.
A bull sees that, starts laughing and says: "HAHAH, you have such big ears and you didn't hear the train".
The rabbit, picking himself up from the floor, says: "Yeah, yeah, you have such big balls and a veterinarian has to fuck your cow !"

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* Bad Doctor *
A beautfiul woman walks into a doctors office and the doctor is awestruck. All his professionalism goes out the window.
He tells her to take off her pants and he starts rubbing her thighs.
He says "Do you know what I am doing ?"
She replies "Yes, checking for abnormalities".
He tells her to take off her shrit and bra and he starts rubbing her breats. He says "Do you know what I am doing now ?"
She replies "Yes, checking for lumps and cancer".
Finally, he tells he takes off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her, and starts having sex with her. He says "Do you know what I am doing now ?"
She replies "Yes, getting herpies. That's why I am here"…

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